


anamnesis

by pastelpetals



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, ft. Rex and Nia in like one sentence, haze may have a little swear as a treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:08:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23742067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelpetals/pseuds/pastelpetals
Summary: “Who are you, she wants to ask, that you haunt me even now?”— in which haze / fan la norne contends with her past, or lack thereof
Relationships: Kasumi | Fan la Norne | Haze & Hikari | Mythra, Kasumi | Fan la Norne | Haze & Lora, Kasumi | Fan la Norne | Haze & Shin | Jin, Lora & Shin | Jin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 27





	1. trammelings

**Author's Note:**

> i promise i'm still working on "shrinking violet"! my computer kind of died in the middle of writing and i've been unmotivated to continue, but meanwhile i went back to xc2 after almost a whole year and this game has consumed me yet again

Her morning walk is nothing extraordinary, but she feels it beneath her chest, a twinge of uncertainty, the quickness akin to hummingbird wings. The grip on her crozier tightens as images — _memories_ — threaten to flood her mind, unbidden. She represses the tears to the best of her ability, relishes the crisp breeze in a bid to keep herself grounded.

What she always remembers first is the moment she wakes to Amalthus, to his smile, patient but unnerving. When her conscience had coalesced, there were traces of a name on her tongue, an emotion that her heart could not recognize. The sensation had been fleeting, but the heaviness that draped itself over her summoning never left, despite her lavish lodgings, her hallowed duties, her propensity for scripts. 

Next is the memory of a talisman, lovingly crafted and just as lovingly cherished. _A good luck charm_ , an unfamiliar voice tells her, _for whenever I can’t be at your side_. She distantly wonders where it is now, if it can be found safeguarded in capable hands or fraying away in an abandoned battlefield. 

Who are you, she wants to ask, that you haunt me even now? 

Another prominent image, startling in its vivid detail, is a mask with sharp angles and muted colors. But the eyes beneath are kind in a way that she has never seen before. The people look to her with reverent adoration, the Aegis looks at her with sympathy, and Amalthus looks through her entirely. 

Her crozier dissipates from trembling hands.

The eyes are not the voice, she knows, instinctively. They are two separate entities that cared for her deeply, all the same. They cared not for her as Fan la Norne, but as _Ha_ —

“—looked sad.” Rex’s voice echoes over, faint in the yawning space of the Sanctum. Hastily, she robes herself in a stately air, the most serene and unperturbed facade she can manage. Her smile is gentle as she greets the Aegis’ new Driver and his Gormotti companion, her countenance growing more genuine as she recalls their banter. A pang of loneliness strikes her. 

Surely she has experienced something like this before. Otherwise, why would her heart yearn the way it does now? She thinks of how clinical yet aureate Amalthus is in his expectations. There was no warmth, no familiarity in how he ordained her responsibilities. 

Her mind wanders to the gaping hole that is her past as she smiles, onward and onward still. 

* * *

Her eyes meet the ones that she has dreamed of for so long. 

They are atop a Judician Titan in Temperantia when he appears, the mask just as she remembers. However, his gaze is unyielding as he surveys their group, with nary a hint of the tenderness she has grown accustomed to. Questions come to her at a firing pace, but a different dialogue escapes her altogether. She condemns him, and though her chest aches fiercely, she ignores the part of her that screams how something about this is inherently wrong.

“How ironic,” he, _Jin_ , sneers, “that you should speak his name with that face. Oblivious to everything, even your own identity.”

Rage bubbles inside her — how dare he talked as if he understood, as if she had never given a single _shit_ about who she was before — but the implication of his remaining words cool her ire immediately. 

“What...? Do you know something about—?” _Me_ , is the unspoken word, but he has already deflected to the Aegis, to Mythra. 

Mythra, who was the first to offer her hope, who was earnest in her own simple and slightly-awkward manner. Mythra, who in some way stirred up feelings of nostalgia, of comfort, of _home_. 

Mythra, whose words, describing the figure before them, were resonating so intensely within her. 

Strong and kind to the point where he resented combat, the Jin that Mythra depicted was one that her own fractured recollections seemed to attest as the truth. He had fought to end Malos, and he knew of her. Had they once been comrades? Mythra mentioned he was a Blade. Was it conceivable that they shared the same Driver?

She meets his forlorn gaze resolutely when he casts his mask to the ground. She sees not the bloodied Crystal on his forehead but his eyes, where unlike her memories, are softened by grief instead of affection. She will not let him die, for reasons that are beyond Amalthus’ decree, for reasons beyond even her own comprehension. Perhaps she will heed the voice that tells her Jin was once dear to her. 

“Put away your sword.” Her tone reflects her conviction, steadier now that recognition on both sides have been acknowledged. 

But Jin refuses to listen. 

* * *

The moment the sword pierces through her Crystal, she does not register the pain. All that encompasses her vision is his anguished expression. And possibly because she is fading, she swears she can hear the voice through the whispering wind, the same voice that once gifted her a talisman, now calling for her. Warmth blossoms through her as she reaches for him.

 _Lora_ , the name comes to her, pleasant and sweet, a balm and a promise. Her name was Lora, and she had loved them profoundly. Lady Lora was the one who had given her the charm. Lady Lora had been the first take her hand, and Jin had been the first to smile at her. They had each other. They were happy. 

Haze sighs. She feels free, at peace, finally. Her fingertips ghost against his cheek, understanding. The world seems to shift around her as she does so, vanishing at the edges. Jin’s expression twists into something gentler before he, too, is gone. Alone, the darkness overtakes her. 


	2. omake

Dappled sunlight rouses her from sleep. Haze murmurs quietly, feeling lithe fingers carding through her hair. Beneath her head is something pliant and comfortable, and she fears moving will cause it to disappear. 

“Finally awake, are you?” someone chuckles from above her. Haze’s eyes flutter open to see them reflected in an identical pair of amber irises. 

“Five more minutes, Lady Lora,” she grumbles, rolling over to press her face against her Driver’s stomach. She curls herself around the other woman as if to emphasize her request. 

“Come now, sleepyhead, Jin’s expecting us,” Lora laughs again and withdraws her fingers. “We shouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“He can wait five minutes,” Haze mutters, petulant, her voice muffled by fabric. She reaches for Lora’s hand and presses it against the side of her face, nuzzling into her palm. 

“I suppose he can,” Lora agrees fondly, her thumb absentmindedly stroking Haze’s cheek, “but you realize he’ll eventually drag the others to come search for us.”

“Oh, all right, all right.” Haloed by the bright sky, Lora’s grin is exceptionally cheeky, and Haze cannot find it in her to remain disgruntled. She would walk alongside Lady Lora for as long as she asked of her. But first, she must rise. 

Haze stumbles to her feet, with a bit of steadying from Lora, and the latter slips their hands together.

“Let’s go home, Haze,” Lora says, her eyes brimming with warmth. “Everyone’s waiting.”

**Author's Note:**

> listen i have a lot of feelings about haze.
> 
> i haven't played torna yet but her, jin, and lora deserved so much better, they really did. also i love mythra a lot.
> 
> big big thanks to [wes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wes) for beta'ing at like 2am (i'm so sorry)
> 
> and as always, thank you for reading!!


End file.
